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AS KIDS SEE IT !!!
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer
evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and
waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I
heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady
isn't wearing a seat belt!"
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me
he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out
and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a
moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush.
He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better
throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few
days ago.
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the
jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her
4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. It's the minister,
Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy
can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting
the bottle."
POLICE # 1 While taking a routine vandalism report at an
elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6
years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are
you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report.
"My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police.
Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then,”
she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please
tie my shoe?"
POLICE # 2 It was the end of the day when I parked my police van
in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9
partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at
me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is,"
I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the
back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a
party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned,
"Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?"
"You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."
SCHOOL : A little girl had just finished her first week of
school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I
can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"
BIBLE : A little boy opened the big family bible. He was
fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly,
something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and
looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed
in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called
out. " What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the
young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"
Maurice D'Mello
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This particular joke won the award for the best joke in the
competition organized in
Britain and this joke was sent by an Indian......
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up
their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his
faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson
replies, "I see millions of stars." "What does that tell
you?"Watson ponders for a minute.
Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of
galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it
tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be
approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident
the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and
insignificant.Meteorologically, it seems we will have a
beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it te ll you?" Holmes is silent for a moment, then
speaks.
"someone has stolen our tent".
Jossie Pinto
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Career Songs for all Professionals
1. When in college !! Hum honge kaamiyaab, Hum honge
kaamiyaab ek din.....
2. when giving interview to Multi National Company Tu hi
re.. Too hi ree. tere binaaa main kaise jiyunn....
3. waiting for interview result!! Intehaa ho gai Intzaarki..
aayinaaa kuch khabar mere yaarki...
4. just joined Too cheez bhadi hai mast mast.....
5. after some time... Ye kahaan aagaye hum??
6. After some more time... Naa koyi umang hai, naa koyi
tarang hai, meri jindagi kya ek kati Pathang hai (booohoooo)
7. floating the resume kabootar ja ja ja... kabootar ja ja ja...
8. finally when you don't get a better offer any longer Jeena
yehaan, marna yehaan iske siwa jaana kahan...
TELEGRAM # 1
A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed
exams, Which the father receives as :
"Father, your daughter has been successful in BED."
TELEGRAM # 2
A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hill station
sends a telegram to his wife
"I wish you were here." The message received by wife: "I wish
you were her."
TELEGRAM # 3
A wife with near maturing pregnancy goes to railway station to
return to her husband. At the reservation counter, while her
turn came, it was the last ticket. Taking pity on a very old
lady next to her in the queue, she offered her berth to the old
lady and sent a telegram to her husband which reached as:
"Shall be coming tomorrow, heavy rush in the train, gave birth
to an old lady."
TELEGRAM # 4
A man wants to celebrate his wife's Birthday by throwing a
party. Sohe goes to order a birthday cake. The salesman asks him
what message he wants to put on the cake. Well, he thinks for a
while and says: let's put, "you are not getting older you are
getting better". The salesman asks "how do you want me to put it
?" The man says, Well, put "You are not getting older", at the
top and "You are getting better" at the bottom. The real fun
didn't start until the cake was opened.The entire party watched
the message decorated on the cake:
"You are not getting older at the top, You are getting better at
the bottom".
TELEGRAM # 5
A man from Agra went to Ajmer. His wife was in her parent's
house in Delhi. When the man went to Ajmer, he asked his servant
to send a telegram to his wife indicating about his trip to
Ajmer. He sent atelegram. When the wife received the telegram,
she fainted. It was written:
"sethji aaj mar gaye !" ( Sethji Ajmer gaye ).
Charles Lewis
Bahrain
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Car Wash
Smoooochhhh
Charles Lewis
Bahrain
Can you
believe?
These are paintings ...not
Photographs
Toswyn Menezes,
Kuwait
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