A man worked in a post office. His job was to process all mail that had illegible addresses. One day a letter came to his desk, addressed in a shaky handwriting to God.

He thought, "I better open this one and see what it's all about." So he opened it and it read,

"Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow living on a very small pension." "Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had a hundred dollars in it which was all the money I had until my next pension check. Next Sunday is Easter, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with.  I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?"

The postal worker was touched, and went around showing the letter to all the others. Each of them dug into his wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected 96 dollars, which they put into an envelope and sent over to her.

The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of the nice thing they had done. Easter came and went, and a few days later came another letter from the old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read,

"Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your generosity, I was able to fix a lovely dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day, and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was 4 dollars missing. It was no doubt those thieving bastards at the post office."

Charles Lewis, Bahrain

Three old grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home.About  then an old man walked by, and one of the grandmas says, "We bet we can  tell how old you are." The old man said, "There ain't no way you can  guess  it."

One of the ornery grandmas said, "Sure we can! Just drop your  under  shorts and we can tell your exact age." He did. The grandmas stared  at him for a while and then they all piped up and said, "You're 84 years  old!"

The old man was stunned. "Amazing!", how did you guess that?” The  old  grandmas, laughed. Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to  ear, all  three happily yelled in unison,

"You told us yesterday."

Two young Israeli tourists are sitting at Babaji's Cold Drink near the Hanuman Temple in Mapusa. Sid and Al were both Jews. During their conversation, Sid asked Al, "Are there any Jews in Goa?"

 "I don't know," replied Al. "Why don't we ask our waiter?" When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there Goan Jews?" waiter said, "I don't know sir, let me ask," and went and asked the patrao. He returned a few minutes later and said, "No sir. No, Goan Jews."

 "Are you sure?" Al asked.

 "I check again, sir," the waiter replied and went back to the patrao  seated at the cash counter.  While he was gone, Sid said to Al, "I can't believe there are no Jews in Goa. Our people are scattered everywhere. And Goa has been a   melting pot for so many different religions, cultures and civilisations."

At this point, the waiter returned. "Sir, no Goan Jews!" he said. Are you really sure, man?" Al asked again. "I can't believe there are no Goan Jews."

 Exasperated, the waiter frantically said, "Sir, I ask everyone! We  have Apple Jews, Orange Jews, Tomato Jews and Grape Jews. But no one  hear of Goan Jews!"

Ivan pinto Abudhabi

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't  mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht   frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do  not    raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.

Celine, Navi Mumbai

The Pastor

A pastor walked into a neighborhood pub that was hopping with music and  dancing. Every now and than the lights would go out followed by an eruption of cheer from the crowd. When somebody noticed the pastor however, the revelry stopped and the room got very quiet. Feeling awkward and out of place, the pastor went to the bartender and asked,

"May I please use the restroom?"

The bartender replied, "I really don't think you should."
"For heavens sake, why not?" The pastor said.

"Well, there is a large statue of a woman in there, and I'm afraid it would offend you, being a man of the cloth and all. She is only wearing a fig leaf over her..."

“Nonsense," said the pastor, "I'll just look the other way." And still
feeling very self-conscious in the quiet room he entered the men's room.
After a few minutes he emerged and the whole place was filled with music and dancing again, and everyone was giving him an enthusiastic round of applause. Several patrons came to him, slapped him on the back, put their arms around his shoulders, and led him to the bar where he was presented
with a cold drink, on the house.

"I don't understand," the bewildered pastor whispered to the bartender, "What happened?"

“They know you're one of us now," the bartender replied.

"How?"

The bartender grinned and slid another drink to him. "When the fig leaf on the statue is lifted, all the lights go out."